Video of the week

Videos will now only be posted as links to save space on the front page.

Husky pup who reminds me of Kodi as a pup

My New Year letter

And so we start a new year, but before we do, I want to do a recap on the past year, which was filed with mixed emotions, happiness, sadness, laughs and stress.

The year 2009 started out pretty well, Walt was working for Malcolms, I was at home with the kids, and Kimi was at nursery, which she loves. James had just started walking, which was a big thing for us, even though he was behind when the girls did it, because he had been premature and has a few developmental delays. In march my brother and his family came to visit, his wife, my sister in law succeeded in leading me astray and getting me drunk to the point of throwing up (it WAS her fault honest!!) and we got to celebrate my nieces birthday with a mini party here at the house. I also got to meet my nephew for the first time, since SIL had so very inconveniently NOT gone into labour the last time I had visited home, and instead baked my nephew for a further 2 weeks, making him an early christmas present.

May started one of the worst times of my life, worse than the divorce I had cried into a pillow over, worse than losing out on £25K because of a ‘technicality’. Walt had had a stroke. On our anniversary. I won’t bore you with the details as I wrote a post about it at the time. The only good thing to come out of that time was talking to a dear friend, Kim, for the first time. We had known each other online for about 8 years but never actually talked. The following months were hard for us. Not knowing whether he’d ever be able to move his arm again, not knowing if he would ever work again, and not knowing how we would feed our kids. Of course he was signed off work indefinitely, and with the help of a friend who knows the ins and outs of which benefits are available, we set in motion trying to get some financial help. Of course they are never quick to pay out and so we spent 3 months living on the breadline.. sometimes not even close to the breadline. At the worst times, while waiting for the benefits to kick in the kids had nothing but potatoes to live on. We couldn’t even borrow money because my bank card had gotten snapped and we couldn’t get any cash out until they sent a new one, and my bank is 30 miles away so couldn’t even get there to take it out without a card. I never want to feel that way ever again, not being able to provide for your kids.

In august when we finally started getting some money in, Walt decided to book a wedding! He did it without me knowing which was a big surprise, the bigger surprise was that he had organised it for OCTOBER… I had 10 weeks. And because we were having the reception at home… I had a LOT of work to do. I spent 2 months constantly with my head in my laptop trying to find bargains and buying things to make our day special. I made the center pieces myself, ordered the bridesmaids dresses from abroad (USA) because it was a lot cheaper, and bought disposable glasses, plates and cutlery, we hired the kilts, and I got myself a bridesmaids dress in ivory, which you would never know WASN’T a wedding dress. I managed to do the whole wedding for £1200. I was quite proud of myself, and the guests had plenty to say about it all, including my ‘unique’ wedding shoes.

As soon as the wedding was over and done with, we set about making christmas enjoyable for the kids, after the year we’d had we wanted to spoil them a bit. We weren’t flush, but we got a load of stuff off Ebay, and went to markets and pound stores, and they had a whole heap of presents from santa. And to top it all off, we had our first white christmas as a family.  I also got to speak to another friend on christmas day who I’d never spoke with in person, so that was nice.

And so now, we head into a new year, and I know that whatever happens this year, we can weather any storm. Together. We’ve already been told that we have a wedding to go to in the summer as our Usher from our wedding proposed to his girlfriend on christmas day. We’re having a ’second’ christmas in february when my parents come to visit as we’ll have presents to give out and we have turkey stock in the freezer to make gravy, and cranberry sauce not even opened, home made of course. My brother and family are planning on coming up here for a week in the summer so we have lots to look forward to.

I’ll never forget 2009, although tainted with sadness, we topped the year off with happiness and togetherness and proved once and for all that love really can conquer all.

Happy New year to old friends and new. Have a great 2010.

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Do you take this man….? Urmmmm… Meh

I haven’t forgotten my loyal readers, you know I love you all, but sometimes, just sometimes, life passes me by before I know what has hit me, and before you know it a month or two has gone by and I’m getting pissy emails from people asking why I haven’t updated. And so. We’re here again.

Let me take you back to the beginning of august when my ever so wonderful Mr I, comes into the kitchen and tells me [a little too curtly for my liking] to get off the computer, so I bimbled over to the other side of the kitchen to where he was standing, and he takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and hands it to me. On the piece of paper was simply a reverend’s name, the address of a church and a time. It took me about 5 million years for it to suddenly click and then… OMG! He’s gone and booked our wedding!! For a few seconds I got quite excited at the prospect of being an ‘official’ Mrs I before it dawned on me. He booked it for octobe..THIS YEAR! That means 11 weeks until the wedding day!! Sre you freaking kidding me? So I asked him in a [not so] nice way “And who is organising our wedding within 11 weeks”? And he said “it won’t be that difficult, just dresses, shoes and bouquets and that kind of thing, we’ll do it easy”. Ho-hum…

Now had this been his [and mine for that matter] first wedding then I may, just about MAY have cut him a tinee tiny bit of slack on that one. Not much, but a bit, just for being male. But being as we have both been married before, that little bit of lee-way has been chopped short. Does he have ANY idea what goes in to a wedding? Was he KIDDING when he said ALL we need is outfits and shoes? Aparantly not.

So. It appears that the rings, and the hair, and the reception just appear by magic and requires no work OR money, it just appears exactly how you want it. Who knew? So it’s safe to say that I have been left to do all the nit-picky things required for a sensational wedding.  I’ve managed to find rings that match that we both like for next to nothing, of course when I say we both like I mean “meh… yeah that’ll do, it’s just a ring”

Of course had I indeed left him to organise the WHOLE wedding, then it would probably have been a sad little affair. He would never have thought of making our own centerpieces to save money, in fact he probably wouldn’t have THOUGHT about centerpieces at all. And answering the question ‘what shall we put in the favor bags’? with “favor bags? huh?” was probably also not a good indication that he would have even thought about them, much less actually known what they are.

He does, however have SOME family that are a tad brighter than he is, who have found us tables and chairs so we can have the reception at home, to keep the cost down, and a marquee to have outside too, for FREE. And his sister is also making the cake for free and I am going to try my hand at making handmade soap, although that bit isa little secret incase it goes badly wrong and people expect it.

And so with the stress of looking after a male disabled person, and looking after three kids AND organising a wedding in less than 3 months, you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t write every day. Or not, because really there’s nothing you can do about it anyways.

I’m fine, my kids are fine – And your problem is?

I was brought up in a place where freedom of speech was encouraged and we were free to make our own decisions whether they be right or wrong, and deal with the consequences. I have made a lot of  ’wrong’ decisions in my life, and I dealt with them. Marrying young, definitely a stupid idea (for me), mistaking sleeping tablets for the pill and waking up in a field with my knickers round my ankles after getting drunk with friends and needing a pee whilst out on a drive (I wasn’t driving, I’m not THAT stupid), I should clarify that my friends were with me and found the whole thing hillarious. So yeah, I’ve done stupid stuff, but they were my mistakes, my wrongs, and they didn’t hurt anyone else.

So why do my decisions seem to piss people off now? Why does society seem intent on making my life hell because I don’t follow what the ‘experts’ say is best?

Breast feeding. Now before I even start I KNOW that it’s best for babies. But what annoys me is the constant battering non breast feeders get. For some they CAN’T breast feed, and seeing the commercials for formula that spend 3/4 of the commercial saying that breast feeding is the absolute best for your baby yada yada yada is going to hurt them. I chose not to breast feed. After an awful pregnancy and other complications my body needed a break. Is that a cop out? Absolutely not. Had I have decided to go ahead and breast feed, I would have been exhausted, and irritable which my baby would have sensed. Besides anything else, I HATE anything touching my nipples. But was I wrong? Selfish? no. My baby was happy, fed and had no health problems at all. She’s now 4 and is smart, healthy and beautiful. I bonded with her straight away, we still had skin on skin contact. So why did I get evil eyes when I told people I didn’t breastfeed? Now. I don’t have a problem with breastfeeding at all, I applaud every single mother who can do it, that wants to do it, that has tried it and failed. I don’t have any problem with mothers who breastfeed in public, everything’s good. All I ask is that the guilt trip on those who don’t STOPS. We come under fire for every decision we make as a parent, there is always going to be some bigwig who thinks what you do is wrong. It’s one thing to put the information out there so one can make an informed choice, but it’s another to bully people, and guilt people into doing things a certain way.

Much the same is people who decide they don’t want kids at all. Just recently I came across a lady who didn’t want children, doesn’t like children. She had come across so much flack for that decision. She is NOT wrong. So she doesn’t want kids, so what? She can have a life, travel, go partying and live a fullfilled life. Of course parents can do that too, but there are more restrictions when you have kids. She is fed up with the ‘you don’t know what you’re missing’ and ‘there’s no love like parent/child love’ and ‘you’ll change your mind later on’. Why should she? If you don’t like spiders, would you suddenly want one in a few years? no. If you don’t like the cold, would you suddenly move to Alaska? no. And stop with the sympathetic glances when you ask her if she has any and she says no. She doesn’t need sympathy.

oh and while I’m on a rant, so what  if I have 3 kids close together? No I am not a tramp, I don’t sleep around and I am not a benefits dosser who had loads of kids to get a free house and benefits. And thank you for noticing that I’m not married, which obviously means I’m a whore who can’t keep her legs closed. And yes, I have heard of contraception, thank you very much, in fact 2 of my kids were a result of failed contraception methods, and YES, I did use them correctly and on time. My fiance and I were very shocked at having 3 kids so close together, but he worked damned hard working all the hours he could to provide for me and our growing family, while I worshipped the porceline Goddess, and took medication (oh don’t even get me started on that subject) for the whole of my pregnancy just for me and my baby to survive. Add to that the hospitalisations, added pregnancy complications (SPD, borderline GD, and with the last one PPROM resulting in a premature baby born at 32+6) and yeah, it was tough. But we are in a healthy loving long term relationship, we were not on any state benefits, and we were living in our own house. It’s hard work, sure, but we do it, and we do it by ourselves. Don’t make assumptions about me when you don’t even know me.

Oh and before I forget. Yes, my fiance is older than me, by 22 years. And??? And no, I’m not with him for his money, in fact I paid some of HIS debts off. Why do I need to have a reason for who I fell in love with? Age is a number. Now leave us alone.

It’s just a show…Right?

Ok. So I am sitting here right now with make-up splodges all over my face, bloodshot eyes and grieving. No, I haven’t lost a loved  one, well not in the real life, real person sense, no, but one of my favourite characters has died. My poor Jim Clancy. What the hell were you thinking Ghost Whisperer writers??? Damn you!! He was sweet and caring, and so good with Melinda, oh and did I mention HOT!! Damn damn damn. Now where will I get my Jim fix?

And how did I NOT know this was coming? Well I’m off to cry into my pillow and compose a hate mail to CBS. Damn Damn Damn.

After Dinner Speeches

We have a rule in our house, that we all sit at the table for the evening meal. Not because we are super efficient parents, more because we’ve seen more than our fair share of ‘Jerry Springer-esque Holiday show’ style dinner times in the living room, that resulted in a food flinging frenzy, or virtually refrozen dinners because they can’t possibly eat food AND watch Dora/Peppa/Lazytown/Max and ruby (or other assorted kids shows) at the same time. So yes, we finally cleared the kitchen table which would practically be about to start walking itself had it not been piled thick with laundry/mail and any other thing that didn’t have it’s own home somewhere it the kitchen. TADAAAA! We have a dinner table, and pleasant dinner conversation.

Time for change

And so it was time to change my theme, although I loved the grey/black theme, sometimes you have to things in the name of popularity

It came to my attention from a very sweet wonderful person (can you see me kissing ass right now? LOL) that I didn’t have an RSS feed or ’subscribe’ button. Ya know since I am such an incredibly talented writer and all…… (Cough cough)! And then I realised something, it wasn’t that people didn’t know about the blog, therefor didn’t like me, or thought I was crap (well maybe it was..lol), but it was that people didn’t know when I’d posted. So after hours of banging my head on a brick wall trying to figure out how to add this feed thingy, I realised it was the theme I had for the blog. And upon changing the theme, I now have a built in subscribey thing.

The next time I log in, I shall be expecting an entourage of screaming fans [An 'entourage' is a usually small group of people that ride on the coattails of somebody successful.]

I’ll be looking for you all, and when I am inredibly famous I will share my gazillions with you all, and kiss your feet. So long as you washed them before you came here.

And so. Yeah

Have you missed me? I should think so too. Only, I’ve kinda had the world on my shoulders lately. You ever get those days where you feel so overwhelmed and then something comes along and kicks the shit out of you? Well – That was my last month. So where to begin, where to begin.

I guess we could start with Boo Boo’s arm issues, and dr’s appointments to see whether she would need surgery or whether it would heal by itself. Or we could start with the gazillions of appointments that I’ve had to have, and still have to have. Or maybe we could start with the food allergy that turned out to be a stroke for DH! Or the nasty sickness bug that the kids got and then so generously gave to me. Yeah. I love that sharing is limited to bugs when it comes to the kiddies.

What’s ‘normal’ anyway?

So, from quite an early age, I knew that my kids weren’t what you’d call normal. Oh yes, they look normal (well apart from Dudette’s model smile and Boo Boo’s  ‘I’m pissed at the world’  look), but looks can be decieving. My kids ENJOY most of the things that near on all parents struggle with, with their offspring. Sure there are a few that like the things that mine do, but they’re not normal either. My kids have loved baths from the moment they were born, none of this screaming your head offlike you’ve just been dipped into a deep fat fryer instead of the bath, No.

Mr Funny has been!!

And so we are at easter again. We hid all the eggs away in the living room before we went to bed, ready to watch their delighted faces as they realised that the Easter bunny had been. I just about managed to divert Dudette away from the living room door before the other kids woke up, or else there would have been no Easter eggs for anyone else. So I dragged her a la  kidnap style and hauled her butt into our room for snuggles first thing, while she incessantly screamed because she did not want cuddles, she wanted chocolate eggs because ‘The Easter bunny came and brought MEEEEEE an chocolate egg with sweeeeeeties in the chocolate egg dint he mummy?’ But darling your brother and sister are still sleeping, the Easter bunny said you have to wait for them to wake up first. At first it seemed she had listened, and trundled off, only to take a detour right into the their bedroom shouting “Boo Boo, Dudey!! Time to get up, the easter bunny has been” Yeah thanks dudette.

The Dummy club 30 year Reunion

So. Playing host on saturday night/ sunday morning went particularly well. I was, of course my usual domestic Goddess self. The house was immaculate, the guest room was to the highest standard, well “Helen High Standard” not running your finger along the skirting board kind of high standard. I’m talking tidied and swept/vacuumed and changed the sheets and cover and put fresh towels out. Well shit, that’spretty good for me, usually I just shift all the mess and laundry to the corner and make space for the bed!

The tables have turned

Ever since I have known Mr I, I have never met any of his friends. When we first met, he moved to my pad from 300 miles away. So I had heard stories, loooong stories about these people, but never met them. Of course he met all my friends because, well they lived round the corner from me. A few months ago I finally met, for a brief moment a guy he was in the army with. It was 5 minutes outside a cafe (if one could call it that, more a greasy spoon with a hole in the wall and seats outside) and the kids were playing up. So that was about that.

Last night he gets a phone call just before we were heading to the hay, and it’s REME boy. He says “whatcha doing saturday? we’re coming over … blah blah blah. Gets off the phone and says “they’re staying over night, is that ok?” So I asked “What did you tell him?” And he replies “I said it was ok”. Umm so why the hell are you asking me then? You already told him it’s fine. But whatever.

I won’t miss you

So on my quest to find this weeks Video of the week I found this little gem. This guy, Emerson Brophy, is very talented, and not worthy of just a titchy tiny link to youtube. So I am giving him his own post. It’s a beautiful song and a heavenly voice. He should really do this for a living.

Bite me

Yes the PMS fairy has found me. The bitch. And here was me thinking I was the only bitch here. I AM a bitch, the QUEEN bitch, as I’m sure some people will vouch for, but this lady is pretty close.

So. While we are here, and I am in kill mode, I may as well get some things off my chest.

Sappy Sue, get off my fucking case. I try so hard to sit back and let you put your own nail in the coffin, but I’m damn close to putting it in myself. In fact I may just kill you, and dig a small hole in a sewerage plant and sod the coffin.

Ellis and co. FFS. Get a fucking grip. Nuff said.

Kids: SHUT UP!! Nuff said.

That’s your lot. Byeeeeeeeeeee!

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The magic toybox

So. The kids all share a room, the biggest bedroom in the house, in order for us to have the smallest (but, which comes with an ensuite bathroom) room, and have a guest room, which is also bigger than our room, but doesn’t have a shower, or a toilet, or carpet. Anyways, so the kidlets have a room to themselves, which needs to be kept pretty tidy or mummy or daddy end up breaking their arm, neck, leg, whatever. Funny how it takes two second to empty a toybox on to the floor, (where they will subsequently leave there because they just realised that the world is going to end and they need to watch Peppa one more time before they die, or whatever).

On Baby Fever

For the record… I am totally done, I couldn’t be any more “dunner” if I cut my hoo-haa off and mangled Mr-I’s paddywhack with a wood vice. But since there is a lot of talk ‘on the boards’ of baby fever, I am inspired to tell you exactly WHY I am so done, and why baby fever no longer visits my house (well almost never).

So Lets start at christmas time. The girls both get chicken pox on boxing day and we end up in the hospital because there is no surgery open on boxing day. Then 2 weeks later Dudey gets croup and tonsilitis, then the girls get nasty stinking colds, then Boo Boo gets tonsilitis, then she breaks her arm, and then Dudette gets tonsilitis and an ear infection. And here we are. Oh but it’s not all about sick kiddies, but that’s enough if you had to deal with it while worshipping the porceline Goddess 25 times a day.

The cost of a broken arm

Iwas thinking, that the cost of a broken arm should be free. Technically the treatment,hospital visit etc.. IS free, but the additional costs are high enough. If having to buy finger foods because she can no longer use a knife and fork isn’t bad enough, we also had to buy a cast cover so that she can have a bath, paint and do any other activity that would likely make a mess of  her cast. We’ve had to cut up coats, jumpers and long sleeve tops because they don’t fit over her cast, and it’s not warm enough to wear T-shirts and the like. Which also prompted a shopping spree to find some jumpers and tops that have elasticated sleeves so she has stuff we don’t have to cut, and that she can still wear after her cast comes off.

That doesn’t even cover the extra man hours from mummy and daddy, since Boo Boo can’t use the toilet by herself, get dressed or pretty much anything that requires two hands. We should be able to get some kind of disablility allowance for her, but nope.

Oh well, such is life eh?

Hello, it’s me again!!

Yep, we spent another day at The Victoria. This time it was Dudettes turn. This morning we went to Asda, so that I could get my gourmet jelly beans, and get the girls a kids digital camera each, oh and some felt tip pens so we can decorate Boo Boo’s cast tomorrow, and everything was great, she whined, picked stuff off shelves and wanted everything, so pretty normal. Then we stopped off at the bakery because she said she wanted a steak slice for dinner. We got home and she refused flat out to eat it. So daddy and Boo Boo went out to Dunfermline to get some food for tonight, from M&S. As soon as they left she says “I don’t want steak slice, I want something else” So I ask her what she wants. “fruit” ok fine. So I get a bowl and put banana, orange, grapes etc in it. she doesn’t want it. UGH! So I ask her if she’s tired and she says yes. ok so we’re making progress. She doesn’t normally have naps in the day any more, but it’s ok,it’s the weekend.

Got it covered

So I spent last night looking for a waterproof cast cover for Boo Boo’s ‘ouchie arm’, the only ones I could fine were either rediculously expensive or wanted me to allow then ‘up to 28 days delivery’. Hmm well I’ll bear that in mind next time I PLAN on breaking their arms or mine or whatever. Good to know you can order them in advance. “Dear cast company, I am planning on breaking a bone in 28 days, please make sure I have a cast cover for when I do, then I won’t have to wait until the cast is about to COME OFF before I can take a shower, bath or go swimming.” I mean what nutso decided that 28 days was acceptable for delivery of an item you only wear for 4-6 weeks?

I went to the pharmacy this morning with the intention of getting some calpol for her pain relief, and thought thy might know where I could get one, or have one,or tell me the dr could prescribe one for her, Well as it happens, they had 1 left. What are the chances. It’s reusable (just in case any of us decide to follow suit in the future) and cheaper than the cheapest one I found online, AND I got it TODAY!! So now Boo boo can go to Dudette’s stay and play at school

Oh and tomorrow we go to buy their first set of felt tip pens so we can decorate her cast.